Post #3, I’m on a roll! I changed the name of this because Johnathan isn’t technically my spouse, yet. But, he will be.
I met John when I was 16, kind of in passing. It was at least enough for us to add each other on Facebook. We debate the reason we even started talking, but my version is that I was with my brothers, and they were poking fun at me and he jokingly made them feel bad for picking on a girl. The reason this is debated is because John would never normally do that for anyone. He is the fun-poker! But anyway, we really began our friendship a year or so later while I was living in Texas. I posted a picture of a painting I had done, he liked it, I commented on a picture he drew, conversation ensues. He was in a relationship at the time, I was single, but he started cyber-stalking me. Liking all my posts, commenting on my statuses, etc. We started debating religion and life and it was really nice for me to talk to someone so different from me. I was a very rule following religious person and he was very grace-minded and that was nice. Frustrating, but nice. Over the next 8 months, his relationship ended and our friendship began to grow. I remember being completely against the idea of dating him, because he never followed any rules or he would get as close as he could without breaking them for the sake of fun. It annoyed me and frustrated me, but in the end its the quality I probably enjoy most about him, the part of him that balances me. What was the most attractive quality about John, which is probably a major turn-off and con for most women, is that he was so strong-willed. I’m a very opinionated person, and most guys just rolled over when it came to decision making and I was in the room. But, he never let me be the decision maker. He always had to have the last say, and I knew that I needed that. He was attracted to how smart I was as well, which I have mentioned before has always intimidated people but not him. We began an intentional friendship in January 2011, and began dating in July 2011. By May 2012, we were expecting our first child which threw our relationship through the ringer. It challenged us so deeply to accept the fact that we had to grow up. I was 19, he was 21. We went through a lot over the next year or so. Part of the thing about having a kid so young is having to grow up with your partner. Grown ups have babies, and when you are not there yet, you have to get there together. You have to learn responsibility together.
I can describe our relationship in one word: balance. We are opposites, in most everything in our relationship. He’s the ultra-modern, movie guy. I’m the hippie, home-made, vegan. He’s very street smart. I’m book smart. I like to take walks, he, well…. he doesn’t. And as frustrating as it can be for us at times to find something to do together that we both will enjoy, it’s the part of our relationship that has saved us and kept us together for so long.
We are still so young, I’m 21 and he’s 24. And we both admittedly have so much to learn. We both get impatient with each others immaturity but we both understand that we are becoming grown ups together and we cant be expected to act like it just yet. But we have come a long way. I don’t think we have actually had a big blow up in over a year, no threats to leave and imagining life without each other. We are committed to one another, which I think is so rare.
Our relationship is so special to me. It’s not perfect but that’s ok, perfect isn’t good for me. I used to strive for perfection in all the little things in my life until I finally surrendered to what this relationship gave me. It broke down so many ugly things in me, and has changed me into a person that I really like. This relationship has created in me a “go with the flow” personality. I have become so accepting of people’s flaws I can actually enjoy being with imperfect people. I love Johnathan for what his love has taught me. And I am beyond thankful for him everyday.
His sacrifice for his kids and I is tremendous. He works full time (more than full time!) and supports us so that I can be home with Juliette, and attend school at night. He has put his dreams aside (just for the time being) so that I can go reach mine until the tables can reverse and I can support him while he chases his. He pushes me and encourages me and wants so much success for us that it’s contagious. I want success for us. He relaxes me when I stress and helps me think when I’m being unreasonable.
I’m a lucky girl, I will never deny that.