What is it about spring that makes you want to clean? I always thought “Spring Cleaning” was a myth of sorts, but after today I think it may actually be a primal response. As of the first (this coming Thursday) John and I will have lived in our new town home for 4 months, and after moving as many times as we have, (seven times in a year in a half!) I know that it’s just between the 3 and 4 month mark that you finally unpack your last box. John may be experiencing some sort of nesting of his own today, he organized the entire garage, emptied out a desk we are attempting to get rid of up stairs, set up the baby swing, and moved the dresser we had the living room TV on upstairs so we could finally organize all of little man’s clothing. Oh, and he mounted the TV, which some times makes me feel like I live in a day care, but I’m just glad to have the space. I write as if we have all this stuff, but we really have purged so much crap in the last seven moves. But somehow there are still those couple boxes we both refuse to throw away. My philosophy has always been the less crap you have the simpler life can be. So while we did a lot of projects today, it didn’t really take more than a couple hours because there wasn’t that much more purging to do.
I attempted to do lots of cleaning on my own today as well, but because of all the nesting I have been doing for the past couple weeks already, there wasn’t much more to be done. I spent the morning cleaning the kitchen, but now as I sit here at the end of the day, its dirty again. Story of my life. I didn’t even do any laundry today. Oh, but I did bake today! I’m still in that Early Latent Labor, where I’m having hours of timeable contractions that just stop randomly. Last night I was awake until 11pm, woke up at 3:17am (like every night) and was awake until 7am when John and Juliette got up. I was having contractions every 15 minutes or so, then nothing. I was exhausted today, but I remember this from my last pregnancy as well. I don’t know if its subconscious anticipation that the contractions will turn into real labor, or if I just really can’t sleep, but all I know is that chasing a toddler is hard on 4ish hours of sleep.
The photo above was taken about an hour ago, as John was preparing Juliette for sleep. Those two don’t have the happiest of times trying to go to bed, so I tried suggesting they read a story. She normally is a kinesthetic learner and must. touch. all. things (but I think that’s most toddlers, honestly) but tonight she just laid there and listened to him read. I just heard him open the door about 15 minutes ago (my cue that she’s asleep and the room is safe for entering) so I’m assuming it went better than normal. I mean it probably took him 30 minutes to put her to sleep, plus shes down a lot earlier than normal. She’s probably tired from all the spring cleaning too. I want to start helping her learn to fall asleep herself, but honestly I can count on my hand the number of times she’s just fallen asleep without any sort of coaxing (rocking, humming, cuddling). I have always just followed along with however she chose to sleep, whatever she felt soothed her best, but I’m hoping to make the big girl transition into her own room soon. And eventually being able to let her put herself to sleep. Part of me wonders if that is even realistic. Can a 15-month-old really just fall asleep? Can my 15-month-old put herself to sleep? I just don’t want to force her to do something for my convenience…. I have some reading to do.
Before I sat down to write this I was in Juliette’s room (but not the one she sleeps in) stuffing her cloth diapers and I was just reveling at how blessed I felt. I mean, I know I’m blessed. I know that being a stay-at-home-mom is one of the biggest blessings there is, but really, how do I deserve this? How do I deserve this life? I don’t. I have never done anything phenomenally moral in my life. I have never helped anyone in extreme need. I love to live my life by karmic law, but really what good have I done? I really want to hold onto this season for so long because I know how life works. There are ups and downs and I’m so terrified for when this ends, so I want to enjoy it now. I feel thankful for this season and I hope I make the best of it. I hope I can really do good in this season so that it makes the next one a little easier.
I just found out Kawaii makes newborn diapers now, so I may have to go browse their website for the next hour or so….
xo, Rhea
I Love You, Momma. 