I have been pregnant for 19 months of the past 23 months (just short of two years). I conceived my first in May 2012, and I am due with my second in May 2014. Needless to say, I am over pregnancy. I’m over the growing and shrinking, I’m over the shortness of breath, and the gasping for air at the top of the stairs, I’m done with all the waking to pee, yet still obsessing about my water intake. I’m done with the blood work, done with the fundal height measuring. I’m done with Braxton Hicks contractions, and real contractions, and I-think-these-are-real-because-they-hurt contractions. I’m done with getting asked my due date (because its not like babies actually come on their due dates anyway. I’m just over all of it!
I’m technically 36 weeks and 4 days today, going from my ultrasound measurement. But if you want to go from my LMP date, I’m 38 weeks and 1 day, so do you see why this can be so frustrating. It’s the difference between having a week or so to go, or a whole month entirely (I mean, not technically, but when you are this close to the end even a day of waiting is an entire day of anxiously waiting.) I’m either at the end, or almost at the end. This whole pregnancy has gone by SO quick, and now I’m at the end and it CANNOT GO ANY SLOWER! This Friday we will see our midwife, and I’m pretty sure she will do a cervical check then, and we will hope and pray that I am any sort of dilated!
The past four days I have been having consistent/regular contractions. Some are painful, some are uncomfortable, some are just plain annoying, but they are there and I am without a doubt feeling them, unlike my last pregnancy. Probably because I know what I’m feeling this time too.
With Juliette, I started having “signs of labor” around Christmas. She was due January 22nd, but I didn’t have here until February 5th. So with this baby, I feel like I’m getting anxious (and excited) only to have to wait another month or so. I’m trying my hardest to be patient, trying to develop some sort of plan to still get all the stuff we need for this guy, but there’s not a whole lot of doing that can be done when the funds aren’t there. I just want to go to sleep and wake up when I’m in labor.
So now, here’s the crazy pregnancy hormones talking and I feel completely opposite to everything I have stated above. My daughter is 14-months-old and this is the last few weeks I have when I can give her all my attention and love and can focus solely on her (between the back twisting contractions that is). These are the last few moments of “just us”. I want to show her life everyday, take her places and do things with her, and I have no idea where this is coming from. I want to walk her to the park, but I’m too big, and having too many contractions to hardly make it up the stairs. I’m so sick of the excuses.
I pray to God, that my energy comes back. I don’t remember how long it took after I had Juliette to get my energy back, but I hope I can as soon as possible. Its going to be summer, and I want to experience all that Las Vegas summer’s have to offer.
Come on, baby boy. Stop teasing me!